FAST FOOD RATINGS
The Joints
McDonalds, Burger King & Wendy's
Value - 2/5 - For $5 you get a burger, some fries and a cup of ice, pretty standard but leaves you wanting when its volume your after.
Fat Rating - 3/5 - Walking to and from your local restaurant will probably burn off the fat acquired. However don't make a living off it.
Service - 2/5 - Usually young girls in the midst of puberty ie bursting out in zits, however if that's your go, you'll be in heaven.
KFC
Value - 3/5 - A couple of bits of chicken, chips, some gravy and a drink you can't go wrong. However KFC also suffers from the any Coke with your ice dilemma.
Fat Rating - 5/5 - Coronary here I come. Just watching the fat and oil ooze out is enough to make you look at the guts to see if the rolls are growing. Moderation advised.
Service - 2/5 - Well more of the same pimply, young and basically greasy, not overly alluring.
Pizza Hut
Value - 4/5 - For $5 here you might get a napkin but for $10 all you can eat, bring the whole tribe because you'll be going hoggers til your gut blows up.
Fat Rating - 3/5 - It all looks pretty harmless but I'll assure you if you keep stuffing down those cheesy morsels, i'd advise getting Jenny Craig on speed-dial.
Service - 4/5 - Nicely presented waitresses only. If your looking for nice little numbers Pizza Hut has them. Probably are the best because they walk around giving you the full package to examine.
Subway
Value - 4/5 - Looks good, tastes good and is all good. You can even choose to put ice in with your Coke at the self-service bar. Cashhh.
Fat Rating - 1/5 - You can go home and tell mum that you've had all of your nutritional needs for the month. A big fat Sub will look green and taste good which all helps to clear that cholesterol conscience.
Service - 2/5 - Much of the same but the chicks may not possess the acne disaease which makes them all the more inviting.
Fish & Chippie
Value - 5/5 - For $5 you have the works and still have money for a game of spacies. Thats good enough for any man.
Fat Rating - 5/5 - Well think about it, they're frying your food in a VAT of FAT. Best renew that gym membership.
Service - 0/5 - If you can find a local proprietor, good luck. Best leave this there.
Final Comments
If your drunk and looking for a quick hunger fix hit the hot dog stand. Tastes all good for a while but when you sober up you'll probably knock yourself out at the price you paid for a shitty little sausage.
Cafe's and restaurants contain all the talent you're burning for. As a man we only advise going to these places if you have a chick and want to get her in the sack or if you have a big group of rowdy guys who are willing to sell their cars to pay for a plate of chips.